I find it ironic that I love memoir, autobiography, and biography so much given that I have such a poor memory of my own past. I have a friend who has an amazingly acute memory of her childhood. I’m the opposite; I can remember some things vaguely and other things not at all. Every once in awhile a song or a fragrance will bring back vivid thoughts and memories, but if I try consciously to remember things, I don’t have much luck.
The other day I attended my younger daughter’s year-end Junior Girl Scout ceremony. After reciting The Girl Scout Promise, they recited The Girl Scout Law. This brought back memories of my own early Girl Scout years. The Law is as meaningful and universal today as it was back in 1912 when Juliette Gordon Low created the Girl Scouts of America. I doubt that this law alone shaped my ethics, but it was consistent with my upbringing at home, school, and church. Without realizing it, it is something that I strive to do each and every day, so I was stunned that I could almost recite it along with the Girl Scouts and that it made me feel connected to these young scouts and Girl Scouts everywhere.
The Girl Scout Law
I will do my best to be
honest and fair,
friendly and helpful,
considerate and caring,
courageous and strong, and
responsible for what I say and do,
and to
respect myself and others,
respect authority,
use resources wisely,
make the world a better place, and
be a sister to every Girl Scout.
Living by this law, on the whole, is beneficial. There was one time, though, in the dark-days of my early forties, where living by the Girl Scout Law created a big problem for me. I trusted a neighbor who, meanwhile, lied about me to the other neighbors, used his pull in city government, and waged a secret campaign against me that caused my bank and builder to freeze in the middle of a major rehab on my home. Needless to say, this was disastrous! It was only by luck that we survived without losing our home, our marriage, or our sanity. And in the end, I am at peace with my own behavior which parallels The Girl Scout Law. It’s the only peace I can find about the situation, but it really did affect me in ways I’m still uncovering. I do think that “That which does not kill us makes us stronger” (That’s Friedrich Nietzesche…what is it with me and German references lately??), but it’s an awfully hard way to live. It made me bitter, angry, and fat (those things go together, you know). I know that forgiveness is a path through that pain…but frankly I prefer to find a different path…Perhaps, “time heals all wounds” is what I’m after. I have to hang my head every time forgiveness is the topic in church…because I’m not there…and much as I think and pray about it, I don’t know that I’ll ever be there.
But, for the most part the Girl Scout Law is a very rewarding way to live. I don’t claim to live up to it perfectly, but it is there as a standard in my mind to help me along the way. So, now that I’ve rediscovered it and laid it out in front of me…what does it mean to my 50 by 50? I think this is where “mission statement” and “vision” come along. So, I’m putting these each down in my 50 by 50…a personal mission statement and a personal vision for my life. Those aren’t quick and easy things to do, but they will lay cornerstones and guidelines for me that will help me live a life that is consistent with my values. And maybe, just maybe, they’ll help me solve the forgiveness riddle.
I’m sitting here listening to Tapestry, by Carole King. This is one for my song list…it reminds me of my older sister when she was a teen…she used to play it and I was enthralled. I am finding that the riddle of figuring out what songs to pick, then listening to them, is opening my childhood back up to me. And this song, in particular, resonates with my “patchwork quilt” of a life. It’s a rather mournful song by the end, but the beginning is what I particularly remember:
My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue
An everlasting vision of the ever changing view
A wondrous woven magic in bits of blue and gold
A tapestry to feel and see, impossible to hold
So, I will listen to more music and have more memories and strive to connect on a deeper level with those around me.
Find the joy in the journey!
Laura's Adventures After 50! 