I have been so busy lately in every aspect of my life and in some ways that is a life saver and in others it’s terribly disconcerting and leaves me longing for time to focus. Being overly busy is sometimes a blessing and sometimes a curse. Have you been there?
This time of year has been a low point in many years…one in which I have decided to take on some huge challenge because nothing much is going on. I guess I am used to that dynamic and tend to take on big challenges this time of year. In recent years, however, this time of year is full of work obligations and my routine of taking on something new and big is at odds with my new reality.
So, I go through my weeks so very busy. I look forward to the weekends as a time to finally get something done for myself, and yet my weekends are bespoke. My younger daughter’s basketball schedule dominates my evenings and weekends…and as I anticipate this last week of basketball, I find that the success of her team means at least one more week with a championship dominating the following weekend. I love this stuff! Don’t get me wrong…I just struggle to find time for, well, me!
I am a great procrastinator. Sometimes, because I am procrastinating, I turn to something unrelated and go full throttle to accomplish something other than what I think I “should” be doing. Ha! At least I get something knocked-off of my to-do list. Not bad. When there is so much on my to-do list, this seems to be the best way to go. Is it?
Lately, I’ve put all my excess energy (provided I have any) towards losing weight and getting physically fit. Turns out, there are a lot more pulls on my time. Turns out that despite my efforts at physical fitness, I’ve not lost a pound since the beginning of the year. Turns out, that although I’ve not lost a pound since the beginning of the year, I’ve lost an inch and a half each off of my waist, hips, and thighs.
So, this morning, I was trolling through my closet looking for that next size down. I started out as a size 14…not that I would admit it, so I pretended I was a 12. (Keep in mind that I’m at max, 5 foot 4 inches and with bird-bones). So, after losing 18 pounds, I dropped a dress size to a 10…in reality, I dropped two dress sizes, from 14 to 10. But now, I’ve lost only an additional 8 pounds without an additional drop in size…or have I? I’m wearing these overly-loose 10’s and wondering when/if I’ll fit into an 8. Gauging solely by my weight, I’m 20+ pounds from being an 8…
Never-the-less, I started trolling through my closet. I found nary an 8. What is going on? I have no clue. I found many size 6 pants, all obviously too small. Then I found a sole pair of pants that looked like they might fit…a “big” size 6. I pulled them on, past my thighs…past my hips…past my waist, zipped and buttoned. Wow! They actually almost fit. Maybe in 5-10 pounds they will be a good fit.
I recalled that I put some too-small clothes in boxes and stored them in the attic. I ventured up to the attic and found the boxes of old clothes. Sure enough, I found some of my own clothes among the out-grown children’s clothes. Most were maternity clothes and some were clothes two or more sizes too small. I did find one box of sweaters which might have a few items which would fit. Inside, and on top, was a lovely, zip-up, black cardigan…a prize, no matter what else I might find.
I am still puzzling about what I wore underneath this cardigan and even more so, what pants I wore with it…I dream of some grey, wool, trousers…but they are nowhere to be found. Now I anticipate the fun I will have in cleaning out my closet…except that I don’t have time to do it in the near future.
I find myself motivated to clean-out my closet…I anticipate the joy I will feel from getting rid of clothes that are too big or too out of date. I am feeling my way past procrastination, and yet, there are still the limitations on my time beyond my personal limits.
Find the Joy in the Journey…sometimes anticipation is a virtue worth the wait!