Midway through my month of mixing and mingling and I’m having a few qualms. Nothing big, just a few jitters. I am decidedly an introvert. I took the Myers-Briggs as a grad student and came out as an INTJ…the “I” is for introvert. Later I took it a year into my job as a buyer at a big industrial company…I came out as an ENTJ…the “E” is for extrovert…except that I’m not. When I took the test the second time, I answered in a professional capacity. It wasn’t until years later that I took it a third time and ended up as an INTJ once again. By that time, I’d done some research into the topic and learned that introversion and extroversion have to do with motivation; introverts are internally motivated and extroverts are externally motivated. I had always thought it was about shyness versus outgoingness.
So, that is all by way of saying I am not particularly shy, and like most people, even my gregarious youngest child, going alone into a new situation makes me feel a bit shy. This month, however, I gave myself a challenge to say “yes” to as many social invitations as possible. This weekend meant going to a home shopping party where the host was a friend of a friend that I had met before, and the only other person I knew was our mutual friend. The party was at a private club, which was very nice…we women, about 30 strong, were the only guests at the club at the time, so it was very, umm…clubby!
I ordered a couple of items of clothes and headed back home. Next up was to go to a fundraiser in the evening. I love the city, but I’m not sure if I’ll ever be completely comfortable driving in the city by myself at night. The party was at a private home in a neighborhood of old “mansions”. I found it easily…the only house with all the lights on. Turned out to be a lovely, center-hall colonial. A couple of blocks away the neighborhood is decidedly much more rough.
I met up with a couple I’d met before walking from the street to the house. Inside, I surveyed the crowd and bounced from acquaintance to acquaintance until it was time for dinner. The meal was provided by a popular “pop up” restaurant chef. Everything was delicious. I sat with a woman I’d met twice before and enjoyed her company. Suddenly a ghostly marching band swarmed into the room and started playing some righteous John Phillips Souza (or, since I don’t know my marching band musicians, perhaps something else.) This turned out to be the Detroit Party Marching Band, a group of enthusiastic and talented musicians. They were dressed in ghostly garb, mostly wedding gowns by the women and white band uniforms by the men…and white hair and grey and white faces. After two pieces, the band leader indicated that they were on their way to a Halloween party and would play us one more piece before they left.
Being a bit of an addict to social media, I checked-in on Facebook to show the event I was enjoying. A friend texted me that her cousin was there, replete with a photo. Soon enough I waved across the room to her and approached her after the marching band left. We hugged and discussed how we had come to meet.
After dessert, I approached our guest speaker, a nuclear scientist turned comic book author (of the educational, science variety) because I knew he was running a half marathon in the morning. I praised him on his inspirational speech in support of the organization and wished him well in the race. Then I went around to as many people as I could find whom I knew and said my goodbyes.
I drove home to an empty house, feeling rather lonely. Within the hour, my girls came home and we said our goodnights. So, although it’s tough to go to a party on my own, I’m glad I did. I made a connection with people I like but rarely get to see, I got to contribute to my favorite non-profit, and I had an amazing experience to boot.
Find the Joy in the Journey…it’s not always comfortable for an introvert, but it’s always worth it!
Laura's Adventures After 50! 