Holding Still Long Enough To Feel The Blessings

I sit here on a Sunday night, swamped with papers. I want to write a post to my blog…something that I’ve neglected for months. I just missed the official deadline to file the FAFSA…but I haven’t filed my taxes yet and they are substantially different from last  year.

Credit card statements, lawyer bills, receipts from the last month, interesting newspaper articles, research for blog posts on diet and exercise, books on environmentalism, economics, and eating local, also litter my space.

TEDx podcasts on biomimicry, and other interesting YouTube offerings are spinning their way through my cerebral cortex thanks to my son who “gets” where I am at these days. I’m here, I’m there, I’m everywhere!

A crisis brews at work. My youngest is finishing Freshman basketball, squeezing in driver training, and gearing up for softball…and I am cringing at the chaufering involved. I’m halfway through a 500-level geology class, where I’m treading water without the benefit of prerequisites.

My middle child is studying abroad on Madrid and traveling every weekend. Meanwhile, her debit card keeps getting frozen and she’s off to places unknown (to me…the one trying to keep her solvent). She’s also suffering from a stomach virus…or worse. At the moment, she is somewhere in Morocco with a flight back to Madrid in the morning.

Reading, writing, and running? Off the table.  Weight control? Ugh…why bring that up? Networking with the environmentalist folks at work…equal parts feeling supported and feeling ridiculous.

So, I turn to the season at hand…to my Church and the blessings of Lent to help me focus on what is truly important. I’ve found it hard to go to church by myself. I have a plan, starting mid-March to “flash mob” the quintessential, classic churches, with my friends…but back to  Lent. I hate going on my own, but my younger daughter decided that going to church during Lent was important to her. She normally sasses me, saying that since she goes to church once a week during school, she doesn’t have to go on Sunday…she *just* got Confirmed, so you know this is major sass.

So, to church I go. I pray for an open heart, for guidance. And, to my surprise (can’t I be a believer?) the blessings started to flow. First of all, my son got a job. He’s a wonderful, brilliant, man who hasn’t figured out yet where he fits in the world. He is a boomerang kid and I am committed to helping him get to independence. He doesn’t take advantage of that, he wants it as much as I do. Even so, it took a lot of encouragement (shall we admit nagging?) to get him to this point and the look on his face when he told me he was hired warmed this mother’s heart. I feel so blessed!

Another major concern in my life has been getting my ex-husband off of my mortgage.  This has required hundreds of hours dealing with my mortgage company, providing reams of documents, explaining every single check I’ve deposited. The bank threw every obstacle in the book in my way. Eventually I got a closing date, but with under 24 hours to go, they canceled it due to a bank error. I regrouped and pursued a new date. Ultimately, the bank closed my account to protect their internal metrics. Say what? Yes, they made me re-apply so that their internal metrics would reflect that they were customer friendly. But this last week, a miracle happened. They fired my loan processor and the new one got my loan approved and gave me a new closing date.

Find the Joy in the Journey…and the Blessings all around you!




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