I felt an odd mixture of adrenaline and regret as I walked through the Health Expo to get my race shirt. Passport in hand, I stepped up to get my bib, one that I wasn’t planning to use, so that at least I could get my shirt. I’d paid $75 for the privilege. It’s a lovely, silver shirt…one of my “colors”. Now I don’t know if I should wear it or if that would be dishonest.
When I signed up, in a moment of exuberance along with two colleagues, I was in the midst of training for a different half-marathon, my fourth and one that I actually ran. Since then, I have had a series of set-backs, minor ones, but enough to cause me to break training. I made the tough call between running untrained and gutting it out just to say I did it, or knowing when I am not prepared and humbly admitting it.
I’ve only been a runner for two and a half years. I’ve gone from huffing and puffing for 90 seconds at a time when I started Couch to 5k back in June of 2012, to running four half-marathons. I need to find the happy medium, which I think is running about 3 times a week for three to six miles at a time. Maybe when that is my normal, training for another half-marathon will come more easily and not be a huge commitment and change in my life. Or maybe, I’ll have more time in my life later and will want to dedicate some of that to training. Meanwhile, I want to run because I enjoy it and it makes me feel healthy.
I never really did 50 things by the time I turned 50, but I sure did a lot more than I would have otherwise. I didn’t even envision running a 10k, much less five 10k’s and four half-marathons. I’ve read more, listened to more music, de-cluttered a lot (but never enough), gotten my affairs in order, and much more, all while working full time and raising my family.
Now it’s time take a step back and take a long view of the rest of my life. I see a new path in front of me. Running will be a part of it, and so will my family, and all the rest…but I am coming to a point where I can see passion and fun intersecting with meaning and purpose.
So, here’s to the next chapters in my life! When I was at the Expo, I saw a Superwoman skirt. I didn’t see the point in the skirt without some sort of matching top, so instead I got a shiny, orange, ruffled skirt to wear in the Halloween 10k I signed-up for to keep me in a good running frame-of-mind and to assuage my guilt at skipping the half.
I’ve come to learn that “balance” is not really possible if you want to experience as much of life as possible, so here’s for trying new things, finding passion and fun, meaning and purpose.
Find the Joy in the Journey…even if part of that is running in an orange, sequined skirt every once in a while!